And I hope to be not resisting for a very long time." You're happy, aren't you?" That's rhetorical, isn't it?"She leaned back, looked at my face and nodded."You're happy."It's hard to keep happy off your face. I realized that because of the number of times I heard, "Randy, you look so happy. What's going on?" over the next few months.I worked up a standard answer. "Life is good. Business is good. I'm healthy. What's not to be happy about?"And, for the most part, it was true. Being happy also made me realize I had not been entirely happy; I had been portraying it. My performance was so convincing, it convinced me.I knew I had been happy except for the black cloud following me around. I just had not recognized the enormity of its dimensions.I spent time with Karen when I could. It was quality time; it wasn't rushed; it wasn't furtive. We talked. We laughed. And we created orgasms, just in case the baby needed them to grow, or perhaps because it was a lot of fun. I'm a little hazy on. No, inspiration would have to come from elsewhere. She walked across the hall and entered her father’s room. It smelled like him, she thought, smiling. She was reminded of the many nights she spent here after a bad dream, in his big bed, snuggling up to him, his arms wrapped around her. Now, she was having decidedly different dreams, but she smiled when she realized they had the same happy ending.Now she snooped. She opened every drawer and dug deep in his closets. While she found some boxes of photographs, there was literally nothing there that belonged to her mother. It was as if her dad had removed every memory of her after she had abandoned them.She was putting things away, hoping he wouldn’t notice she had disturbed his space, when she noticed one of his shirts. She remembered this one; he wore it to the restaurant he took her to on her last birthday. She remembered how good he looked in it, and how grown-up he made her feel that night. They even snuck into the bar, because they.
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